Healing from divorce: how should I protect my son from this situation?

What's the point of getting married and having a child, if in the end, there is nothing but hate between you and your ex?

Last week, I was served with an 80-page lawsuit prepared by my ex-wife's attorney. My ex-wife is also asking the Family Court to have me pay her attorney's fees. So essentially it is costing my ex-wife nothing to attack me.

In my opinion, the person bringing a lawsuit against someone else should pay for their own attorney. If her lawsuit against me is paid for by me, that's akin to having the United States bomb Iraq while forcing the Iraqi people to send the U.S. checks to pay for the bombs and jets used to bomb them in the first place. How would you like to pay for the cost of someone else attacking you?

My ex-wife is a nurse and so if she has a desire to attack me, she should pay for the attorney that she is using to attack me.

I have written on this website about how in December 2007, I helped my ex-wife by offering her, our son and her then 4-year old daughter (from her 2nd marriage) to come along with me to Fairfield, Iowa. At the time, they were all living in a very bad part of Miami, my ex-wife was unemployed, she had not passed her nursing board exam yet, and so they decided to come along to Fairfield, a wonderful small town in Iowa.

8 months ago, after 18 months in Fairfield, my ex-wife decided to take the children and move back to Miami where she has family. She is Haitian.

The most noticeable thing to me about my ex-wife, is that SHE WINS. It doesn't matter if she has to kill you, she will win no matter what the cost.

2 months ago, I stopped paying her child support because I felt that she was using the money on herself and not on our son. How could she use it on our son? She does not even currently live with our son. She is currently living and working as a nurse in South West Florida, a 2-hour drive from Miami, and my son and his little sister are both living with their grand-father in that same bad neighborhood I referred to earlier. My ex-wife sees her children once every 3 weeks right now.

So my ex-wife was using the majority of my child support payments to pay for things like the 2008 SUV she recently bought, and other personal expenses, and not on our child. She sees our son once every 3 weeks. So I stopped paying child support.

I am not the only man my ex-wife has problems getting along with. Almost 7 years ago, in 2003, she walked out on her 2nd husband while she was 4 months pregnant with her daughter. She took our son Sebastien, along with her pregnant belly, told me that she was "going to visit her family in Miami for one week", and flew out of Salt Lake City, Utah to go back to her family in Miami, and never came back. She never brought my son back to Salt Lake City, Utah. Do you see a pattern here? In total, she lived with her 2nd husband less than a year.

Her 2nd husband has had zero involvement with his daughter since. It's been almost 7 years.

Why am I writing this? Because it is cathartic for me. I have had little else on the brain since I received this 80-page lawsuit and I feel it is therapeutic for me to write my thoughts and feelings down.

How should I handle this situation? I try to keep my son Sebastien's well being foremost in my mind above anything else, but it's easy to give in to resentment.

Whether I'm able to defend myself against this lawsuit or not, I need to make sure that I take good care of myself physically and mentally. My son deserves to have a healthy father, healthy mentally and physically.

Thank you for reading. I write about what I care about, and right now, this is what I care most about.

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