"Lasting world peace can only exist on the basis of happiness. Without happiness there can be no lasting world peace. We are all made of Bliss. Only we need to EXPERIENCE our own nature, to be happy in life." Learn how here.

One more reason I love Fairfield, Iowa.

April 9, 2009

Today I will proudly endorse my local bicycle vendor, in exchange for absolutely no money whatsoever! How's that for putting out good Karma?

Over the past 12 months, I've purchased a total of 3 bicycles from A.J.'s Bicycle Shop, located in my hometown of Fairfield, Iowa and each buying experience has been pleasant. Almost life-enriching I would dare say.

I happen to believe that A.J. is in a very good business right now. I believe bicycles are the way to go, as much as your lifestyle allows it, due to the coming U.S. economic collapse. (I believe we're only at the beginning of this crisis).

Now, as I mentioned in yesterday's piece, I moved to Fairfield Iowa from Miami. The bicycle-buying experience in Miami was a little different for me.

I remember walking into a K-Mart in Miami to buy a bicycle. Because of the level of AGGRESSION found in the employees there - which can easily be detected if, like me, you have special powers - simply MAKING IT OUT OF THE STORE, WITH OR WITHOUT THE BIKE, was considered a good day.

Ah, yes, Miami... But we don't want to dwell on negativity, do we?

Thankfully, I now have A.J.'s Bike Shop in Fairfield Iowa to serve my bicycle needs! A.J. tells me he's been doing this for 22 years. He may not be a handsome man, but by Golly, he looks young! Must be all that Transcendental Meditation he's been doing.

Bicycle buying, philosophy and the Nature of the Universe

As soon as I entered A.J.'s Bicycle Shop to purchase a new bike for myself, because it is my nature to be a pain in the ass, I asked A.J. "Why is it that men's bicycles have a horizontal bar going from the seat to the handlebar post, while women's bicycles don't, which just makes it easier to get on women's bicycles?"

A.J. stared through the store's window and remained deep in reflection for what seemed to my racing mind like quite an extraordinary amount of time, and then looked at me and replied "One of the reasons for this has to do with THE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE".

Already I was thanking the Lord for making me buy a bicycle at Fairfield's A.J.'s Bicycle Shop.

The next thing A.J. did, was to take out a pad of paper and a pen, and draw a TRIANGLE. "A bicycle's frame is basically 3 tubes forming a TRIANGLE", A.J. explained.

Just now, while doing a Google image search for "Triangle" (that's how lazy I am), I ended up with this: How is this a TRIANGLE?

So I broke down and used "Paint" to draw my own picture of a triangle. There. Sheech, how much work is this page going to be?

"This", A.J. said pointing at the TRIANGLE he had just drawn, "IS THE STRONGEST STRUCTURE IN THE UNIVERSE".

For the next 20 minutes, A.J. and I discussed metal alloys, welding, Europeans, Americans, French bread and armpits, testicles and horizontal bars, commodity prices, and sociology.

By the time we got done talking, I was pretty much convinced that we American men tend to be macho and European men on average are not anywhere as macho, and ultimately that's why in America, men ride bicycles with a horizontal bar between the seat and the handlebar post and in Europe more men ride what we call here "ladies bicycles".

Riding a ladies bicycle with my pink balloon

The next day, I took my spanking brand new ladies bicycle out for a spin with my son. SECURE IN MY MASCULINITY, I even picked up a PINK BALLOON...

... which was attached to a telephone pole, so that I could later bring it to my son's little sister, the adorable, the one and only, the Princess of Princesses, Sara:

So there I was with my son, riding a ladies bicycle and holding a pink balloon in my hand.

I told my son "if any of your friends at school ask you on Monday 'Who were you riding with last weekend?', just pretend you don't know me and you were riding along just to be friendly".

What is your healing topic of interest?

2012 - The year to Be like a little child.
Healing through Women Inheriting the Earth.
Oprah Winfrey discusses her experience with Transcendental Meditation.