My very own scientific study proving that Transcendental Meditation grows hair!

It's still February 13, 2009

What can I say? When inspiration strikes...

I owe it all to TM.

 

First off, as is customary on healingdaily.com, the customary humor

Warning: If you are visiting this page and you do not possess the HUMOR-GENE on chromosome 12, for your own sake it is recommended that you click the BACK BUTTON at once.

Especially you over there, yeah you, you know who you are. Or maybe you DON'T and that is the problem. Nothing that another 50 years of meditation can't fix though.

You're lucky I don't block your computer's IP address to prevent you from visiting this highly educational, highly scientific website.

And i'm in a good mood today. Just think.

 

OK. Here we go. I know you've all been waiting for this study. Well it's finally here:

Scientific proof that the daily practice of the Transcendental Meditation program grows hair.

I will try to TONE DOWN the Science a bit, so that everyone may follow what we're doing.

Dr. David Lynch, famous movie director, and worldwide proponent of Transcendental Meditation, whose davidlynchfoundation.org is responsible for making it possible for THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN to learn Transcendental Meditation, has more hair than me.

I know what you're thinking. I couldn't believe it either when I first saw Dr. Lynch.

Let's use the power of illustrations to make my point:

david lynch transcendental meditation
healingdaily transcendental meditation
Dr. David Lynch
me

What?? You don't see it?

Look a little closer. Let's try this again:

Dr. David Lynch

Has missed ZERO meditations in the past 30 years.

me

Has missed PLENTY of meditations in the past 20 years.

 

There you have it. Missed meditations, NO missed meditations.

I think the data speaks for itself.

The conclusion is as clear as daylight: Transcendental Meditation GROWS HAIR. Furthermore, preliminary data seems to indicate that the more regular the practice of Transcendental Meditation, the higher the hair growth rate.

Anymore scientific of a process than this, and I'm going to have to get a patent on this thing.

Now, this makes me wonder: what would the results have been, had I been more regular in my practice of Transcendental Meditation over all these years. What would I be like?

More importantly, what would my hair be like?

Let us harness the full power of advanced imaging technology, and determine what my hair COULD have been like, if only I had been as regular in my practice of Transcendental Meditation, as Dr. David Lynch has been.

healingdaily transcendental meditation
Me with NO missed meditations over the years.

There you have it. This is what I could have become.

Another example of the cost of not being regular in your practice of Transcendental Meditation. Let that be a lesson to you all.

All right, for all those of you who have continued reading this scientific webpage even though you lack the HUMOR-gene on chromosome 12, I feel the need to say something SERIOUS before we put an end to this page:

Transcendental Meditation may not really grow hair, but IT CAN DO WONDERS FOR YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!

Such is the BURDEN of the Enlightened. You feel the need to speak to each person in terms that they will be able to understand.

Well I think I have more than fulfilled my obligations to my readers today. We don't want to overburden our brains with too many scientific findings.

 

Marc






 



 

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2009 Healing Daily